


Come Back... Be Here

by CatSamwise



Series: Song of the Universe [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, F/M, Memories, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 23:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5393984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatSamwise/pseuds/CatSamwise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sergeant Ava Jaxo musing about a Republic soldier that isn’t like anyone she’s ever met.</p><p>Set during chapter 1 of the Republic Trooper story line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back... Be Here

**Author's Note:**

> It really surprised me this fandom had so little songfics… Well, here I am to remedy that :)
> 
> As a bonus: I managed to write the whole thing and not describe the Trooper once (apart for him being gorgeous, obviously), so he can be any species you like… 
> 
> The song “ _Come Back… Be Here_ ” belongs to Taylor Swift, from the album “Red”.  
> All SWTOR characters belong to BioWare.

_You said it in a simple way,_  
_4 AM, the second day,_  
_How strange that I don't know you at all._

Ava sat near the window in the cab, staring at the passing buildings without really seeing them. Her girlfriends were chattering next to her, but she couldn’t care enough to listen. 

Her mind was occupied with Ged. It was strange how a trooper she worked with all of two times and spent one night with occupied her thoughts so completely. But what a night it was…

She closed her eyes tightly to try and chase the memories away, of how his hands learned the paths of her body, how she repaid him in kind. Their carful flirting during the missions accumulating to the sweetest release she could have hoped or imagined.

_Stumbled through the long goodbye,_  
_One last kiss, then catch your flight,_  
_Right when I was just about to fall_

It was almost a month since Ged had left Coruscant, and still she couldn’t get him out of her head. 

It had been her idea to gather her girls for a night out in the most fashionable cantina they could get themselves into. She wondered whether she might get herself to loosen up and find someone else to occupy her time with, even for a few hours. But a small feeling in her chest whispered that it was probably a lost cause.

Initially, she had bragged to the girls about Ged. She had told them how handsome he was and what wonderful time they had together. They had been awed and a little envious, which made Ava feel good, at first. But now she couldn’t master the confidence to talk to them.

_I told myself don't get attached,_  
_But in my mind I play it back,_  
_Spinning faster than the plane that took you..._

This sort of attachment was so unlike her. She used to flirt with every handsome man that she met, as a way to pass the time, more than real intent. Some had flirted back, even fewer took her up on her offer. None of those lingered in her mind like Ged did.

He was a fine officer, the commander of the most celebrated Special Forces squad in the Republic military, and if all that wasn’t enough he was easy on the eyes, very easy on the eyes. 

When they were working together on Coruscant, she hadn’t been able to monitor his work, but on Port Raga she made sure there was at least one surveillance camera on him the whole time. She had played the footage over and over during the flight back to Coruscant.

In hindsight, maybe this obsession wasn’t as unexpected as she made herself believe.

_And this is when the feeling sinks in,_  
_I don't wanna miss you like this,_  
_Come back... be here, come back... be here._

The cab came to a stop and their group happily descended onto the busy street. Ava made an effort to join their conversation and excitement. They seldom had the time to go out and relax together, like they used to. All four of them had busy jobs and busy lives. 

If she could just forget him for a few moments. She wished she could just relax and laugh with her girls and not wish Garza would call her to tell her she had another mission with the lieutenant. 

But as she smiled and laughed, she could feel the front she was putting up. Her heart ached to see him again.

_I guess you're in New York today,_  
_I don't wanna need you this way,_  
_Come back... be here, come back... be here._

Would he remember her? Was she just another warm body to pass the night with? Could she be one in a long line of girls? Or maybe, he thought of her as well? 

She drunk a round with her girls, and then another. She let them pull her towards the dance floor, and she let her body move in time with the rhythm.

It felt good to move her body, but in no time at all the movements reminded her of a different dance her body made, and the pull of a muscular physic next to her, the thin shine of sweat on them both, the labored breathing and hushed sighs and moans.

_The delicate beginning rush,_  
_The feeling you can know so much,_  
_Without knowing anything at all._

Ava dragged her mind with effort to the present and to her friends. 

Another song, another round of drinks. She was beginning to feel the effect of the alcohol, and yet Ged’s face came into better focus and every word he ever said to her rang clearer in her ears.

She would have done anything at that moment if she could bring him back to her.

_And now that I can put this down,_  
_If I had known what I'd known now,_  
_I never would have played so nonchalant._

“Lieutenant, you keep on like this, and I might take a liking to you.” She thought she was being flirtatious, that she was playing the game. How could she have known in that moment in time that this one man would burrow under her skin, in her mind and perhaps in her heart, so completely?

Ged had smiled his beautiful smile at her and left. Did he know what effect he had on her? Did he know what a lasting impression he left in his wake? Could he imagine that she had a gaping hole in his shape in her life that nothing could fill?

_Taxi cabs and busy streets,_  
_That never bring you back to me,_  
_I can't help but wish you took me with you..._

Her friends indicated a guy that was dancing a few feet away with meaningful glances and winks and giggles. 

Was her front so good, that they didn’t notice her anguish? Or did they see right through her and were trying to cheer her up? Either way, no other man had any sort of interest to her then.

Ava left the dance floor. She sat at their table all by herself, but then she saw the guy from before making his way to her with two drinks in his hands. He was looking at her and he was smiling. Before Ged, she would have smiled right back, but at the moment she just fled.

She left the cantina and stood in the street breathing the cold air. 

_And this is when the feeling sinks in,_  
_I don't wanna miss you like this,_  
_Come back... be here, come back... be here._

Mira followed her out, “Ava, what’s going on? You aren’t yourself.”

She tried to hold it together. She tried to tell her friend it was nothing. But the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. 

In the end she let out a sob that wracked through her whole body. 

Mira put her arms around her and Ava felt herself break down. 

_I guess you're in London today,_  
_I don't wanna need you this way,_  
_Come back... be here, come back... be here._

She buried her head into Mira’s shoulder and sobbed and cried. Mira held her in a bear hug until the shudder subsided and Ava’s breathing became more even.

“I don’t think a club was the right idea for you, Ava,” Mira said and Ava laughed weakly. “Do you want me to call Li and Nina?”

Ava shook her head. “No. You guys need time to relax. It’s not fair that my bad mood would bring you all down.”

“This is no bad mood, Ava,” Mira answered sternly. “This is you falling completely apart.”

Ava squeezed her friend one last time, stepped away from her embrace, wiped away the tear tracks and smiled bravely at her. “I’m fine. Go have fun.”

_This is falling in love in the cruelest way,  
This is falling for you and you are worlds away._

Mira gave her an appeasing look, but she went back into the club. 

Ava leaned back against the wall of the building. Was she really falling apart? Why couldn’t she forget this one insignificant, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful guy?

She took another calming breath. It was really futile to continue this line of thought. Her mind ran in circles. She might as well return home.

_New York... be here._  
_but you're in London and I break down,_  
_'Cause it's not fair that you're not around._

Her mind made up to leave, Ava almost missed her girls all coming out of the cantina and rushing at her all at once.

“You are not getting rid of us this easily!” Mira shook her finger at her. “Come on, my place’s closest. We’re going to make you feel better, even if it kills us!”

Li and Nina grinned at her, but Ava couldn’t master up the strength. Even her good, good friends couldn’t help right now.

_This is when the feeling sinks in,_  
_I don't wanna miss you like this,_  
_Come back... be here, come back... be here._

At Mira’s Ava finally bared her heart. 

The girls listened in silence as she told them of the gorgeous man that she met during work and that swept her off her feet afterwards. 

It felt good to tell them. It felt good to share her longing for him, to articulate just how much she wanted him back.

They were supportive, but in the end there wasn’t anything for them to do other than to hug her and tell her that a man who didn’t think of her as she did of him was not worth the effort. 

_I guess you're in New York today,_  
_And I don't wanna need you this way,_  
_Come back... be here, come back... be here._

She sat in the taxi cab on her way to her own apartment and thought about their words. It was nothing new. The meaning no different from advice she herself had given out before. 

But it was different. Because this time it was her own heart that was aching, it was her own mind that was replaying every moment they shared over and over again, and it was her apartment that she was going back to. The same apartment she had taken him to. The same furniture he had surveyed with an unreadable look and then turned to her and consumed her.

_I don't wanna miss you like this._

Ava opened the apartment door and remembered the kiss he gave her as goodbye, chaste and oh so sweet that she imagined she could still feel it on her lips.

She went to her small kitchen and remembered how she gave him a cup of caf in the bright yellow chipped mug and he teased her about her choice of tableware.

She stood in front of her own bed and looked at the neat bedding. But in her mind she saw the bed as they had left it on that night.

_Come back... be here._

_Come back... be here._


End file.
